He May Be Abusing Women To Vindicate His Mother

The Wounded Feminine Inside the Abusive Male: Is He Acting Out His Mother’s Pain, or His Father’s Example?

Moon Bastet


Photo by Abhigyan on Unsplash

“He will present as scary, and oppressive to his family, just as his father had in his past.”

The abusive male in romantic relationships, is he acting out his mother’s pain, or his father’s example?

When hearing of abusive relationships, for the sake of analysis, this is a question I have pondered. It is a random thought I will submit for your consideration.

Could it be that the classic abusive male archetype that is labeled narcissist, chauvinist, childish, controlling, and/or manipulative, is an adult boy desperate to vindicate an abused mother?

Abusive males are most often presumed to be repeating pattern adopted from abusive fathers, consciously or subconsciously. He may grow to be cruel to women and children just as his father was. He will pride himself in “laying down the law” because his father “laid down the law”. He will present as scary, and oppressive to his family, just as his father had in his past.

He will cheat and lie to his mate because his father did. The assumption, when hearing of his violent behavior, will always be that he is simply a mirror image of the trauma his father unleashed on their home life, which is a very healthy slice of the truth, but I wonder if the answer cuts even deeper.

Photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash

“Did he wish he had the type of mother that coughed up profanity and rained slaps upside his dad’s head for every lie he told about his whereabouts for the night?”

The abusive male archetype may be a manifestation of his mother’s helplessness, pain, and spiritual death at the hands of the abusive spouse and father. Unwittingly, the abusive son of an abuser may reenact his mother and father’s dark connection by embodying “his mother’s vindication” or…



Moon Bastet

Moon Bastet, MBA, MHRM, MPM — Witchy + Educated. Feminist. Tarot Reader. Digital Activist. - Contact: moonbastetwrites@gmail.com