Everybody Loves My Abusive Ex
The Quiet Social Devaluing of Abused Women
It made me angry. An ex of mine, and all of his friends, posted up together in pictures — huddled together, holding their bodies with the highest of esteem. They have impenetrable confidence, again, it made me angry. I know those guys. I know each of them. I grew up with them. I know their families. I know how many of them are alcoholics. I know which of them beat women. I know they all have mistresses, stray children, and overindulgent mothers. I know many of them are adult brats that have cursed their coddling mothers right to their mother’s coddling faces. I know a few of them spend time with one of their families while barely engaging the other. Some of their kids know “Daddy” very well — others mostly hear about him.
I know just how many of them are ex-gang bangers who spent their twenties deeply involved in gang activities, adulterous group sex, and taking care of other women and their mothers in secret. I witnessed the verbal abuse these “Kings” pelted on their neighborhood girlfriends with absolutely no regard for her virtue or humanity. I know about these petty ass clowns and the fun many of them had keeping money away from their girlfriends, and one of them actually took my friend on a date and ordered himself dinner and ate it in her face. Today, many of these men have great careers, big homes, dumb wives, and large families … and they still ain’t shit. They will never be shit.
These men are abusers — even as boys they were abusers. They beat girls. They pulled their hair. They had sex with them in high school and told anyone who would listen the very next day. They had sex with those girls, they hurt, and humiliated those innocent and naïve young girls — and then they did the same thing to their desperate friends. They developed a reputation that was synonymous with sexually transmitted disease. It was Trichomoniases, or ‘The Clap’, or Chlamydia, or Crabs. Those nasty sons of bitches! I remember that one of these macho fucks slapped a girl younger than himself right in front of school — slapped this young lady to the ground! I remember this same loser watching, cackling with absolute glee as two girls fought over him after school. In the end, one of the girls, black out with a concussion, was rushed to the Emergency Room. She returned to school a week later with two black eyes and a chipped tooth.
I was one of the girls the high school principle warned about these nothing ass boys. She told many girls — “avoid relationships with those boys. They are no good”, and she was right. Hell, by our early twenties one member of this crew had gone after his live-in girlfriend with a bat. One of my cousins made the mistake of dating one of these losers. She met him at a carnival, and she was not with me when she met him (or I would have discouraged this immediately). After one-week on the phone, he invited her out and asked if she would suck two of his friend’s dicks to prove her love for him (which was never going to fucking happen).
These tales are only a few of the tales I have of these low-life abusive bitch made pussy ass punks. That’s what they are — and no one cares! They are still celebrated. They are still popular. They still throw parties and everyone comes. They are “rewarded” with large families, social approval, admiration, and acceptance. They are rewarded with lots of children, multiple “wives”, two or three households. They have homes, cars, and money to flaunt on social media. They are respected men. This just burns me up! Men who are abusers, these men are black men who only abuse black women, and from the black community — their peers, they receive nothing but respect.
They don’t lose their reputation for being “one of the cool guys”, even though their abuse of black women is well-known — no one cares. They are still considered great guys. They have never been ostracized. Other men still clammer to be a part of their social circle, their travel group, parties, and club invitations. No one cares about the women they flaunt out in the open as married men. I have seen these men out on dates with women — plain as day. How can men this vile have the audacity to stand with pride in public spaces? Why are they permitted BY GOD to remain so cocky, filled with of pride, and endless self-confidence? These men are fucking animals, and absolutely no one holds them accountable.
No other woman held my ex accountable for his bad behavior — the abuse, the lying, the humiliation. I got the hell away from him. I will not be that girl. I will not. He continued to pursue me for 20-years, and I did not return. There were so many women ready and willing to accept his abuse. They do not fight back. They don’t care to fight back. They don’t care to leave. He has been successful moving through life as an abusive piece of shit; and, for every woman that holds abusive men accountable or penalizes them with her absence, there are five more women that will gladly take that verbal or physical ass whooping just to have a man to bring up in the shit talking at the beauty shop.
It never matters how violent or self-righteous these devils are. They continue to get as much ass as they want from women who think giving ass to the devil is the thing of the things. These devils will still receive cash gifts, clothing, head, attention, praise, protection, and adoration from broken, stupid women who have limited common sense, no goals, low intelligence, and idiotic values that insist men will always be of greater worth than women — the bearers of life. These men are on pedestals in the community and I have never heard a deep or interesting comment from any of them. They have visited other countries but can’t tell you a thing about them. I guess male-privilege at that high of an altitude just doesn’t concern itself with matters of the real world. The only world that matters is the one they have created for themselves (or the one patriarchy has crafted on their behalf ) where they are eternally exalted, day after day. Who cares about the world — about humanity? You are the reigning King of the Misogynoir-Drenched Village of the Spiritually-Dead Idiots. Why would anything be more important than that?
Twenty-Five years of watching a league of cruel, psychopathic, evil, hateful, and unrighteous men stand with honor and pride similar to that of a heroic soldier made me sick — sick to my fucking stomach. It made me sick — sick all the way down in the depths of my soul.
Women’s tears, humiliation, labor pains, anguish — is worth absolutely nothing.
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